Hey there Ever Be Beauties! Can you guess what this blog post is all about? Yep, SINGLENESS! I mean, I’ve only been single for 20 whole years, so I’d hope to be sincere about it by now, haha! Singleness can be hard to comprehend. Most people who are single want to be anything but single, lol. There can be a lot of frustration that comes when not being able to understand why God hasn’t ended the season of singleness for us. We wonder why God hasn’t sent the right person to love us, but we ask these questions without seeing the bigger picture. I don’t understand everything, but what I do know is, God promises peace at all times, even in a time of being “alone”. God can give a peace that transcends all understanding, even in the most uncomfortable circumstances. You may be living in singleness, but it is possible to be living in peace simultaneously. Singleness doesn’t have to be dreadful and lonely. You can always have perfect peace with God. You need nothing else. But don’t get me wrong, it took a lot for me to realize that Jesus was, and still is, enough. In this blog post, I’ll give you a few examples of the lessons I had to learn in order to accept singleness for what it is, and how I became aware of the presence of God while in this season.
- Let’s start with the most important piece of advice I have for any single person: Take it all as pure joy! No, I’m not saying you have to fake it like you enjoy being alone, but I am saying take heart and look for joy in the things you DO have. I’ve struggled for way too long by letting what I lack take my focus from what I already have. The thought of, “Well, if I had a boyfriend to go do this or that with, life would be so much better,” has entered my mind far too many times. I’ll have such a good experience in front of me, but I won’t fully enjoy it, because I’m staring at the one thing I feel like is “missing”. I now see that if I fix my gaze on Jesus, I will be able to focus on the great amount of joy that He has already provided for me! I choose to take it ALL as joy, especially the little things. There is nothing wrong with wanting a companion to share special life moments with, but I believe that God can fill that void with His love, peace and joy.
- Even a “no” has God’s goodness written all over it. It’s quite alright if it does NOT work out. It’s okay if they don’t reciprocate feelings for you! It’s okay if they just want to be friends! I honestly encourage you to embrace that FRIENDSHIP for what it is, instead of developing resentment towards the other person. I know that it hurts, and it certainly doesn’t make sense sometimes, but God has a plan despite the confusion caused by feelings and emotions. You have to see that, even if they don’t want you in “that way”, it’s not because you aren’t enough. It’s because God is protecting you from the wrong thing. You’re too valuable to God for Him to just let anyone have your heart. You’re worth more than just any ole guy. You have to understand that one day, you will be someone’s very best thing, there’s no time to waste with people who see you as less than that. YOU DESERVE TO BE FELT STRONGLY ABOUT!
- Don’t rush something you want to last forever. I think it’s time that I come to the Lord to give up my own agenda and expectations of when I should have who, or what I want. I want to let the Lord wreck my plans for the better. It’s about time I start learning to trust the Lord with the things unseen. I need to remember the word He gives me, and that is, He will not fail me. It’s time to start walking on the promises of the Lord. He promised me good, good things and I am confident that will include a Godly husband. I believe that if God thinks it is a good thing for you to have, He would certainly not withhold it from you, He would gladly give it to you. We do easily forget that He is our father and He doesn’t want us to lack any good thing! Just remember this: if you don’t have it yet, it’s because it’s not good enough yet. I want God’s stamp of approval. I trust that if God doesn’t think it’s worth having, I don’t want it. He only delivers the best, and that’s why it hasn’t arrived yet.
- There is so much goodness in singleness. There is hope. There is excitement. There is growth. There is love. There is peace. There is independence. There is wisdom. There is BEAUTY! There are magically wonderful things and revelations that you can only learn from being alone, alone with God. Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty for what it is. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. And I am here to remind you and myself, that one day, very soon, you’ll be staring at the blessing you used to always pray and dream about. God will send them when your heart is ready to carry it. God wants to mold us into who we need to be, before another human enters into our lives and He wants “our person” to be fully prepared for us. There is so much goodness in that.
I will conclude this post with these verses:
James 1:2-3
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.
Isaiah 26:3
You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you.
Genesis 2:18
The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Love & Blessings,
Hannah